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Online safety

What is grooming?

Do you know who you are really speaking to online? Sometimes, people you don’t know will try to become ‘friends’ with you. They might try to gain your trust by using a fake profile, and you may feel pressured into talking to them. They might pretend to be your age, and say they're interested in the same things as you. This is known as ‘grooming’.

Groomers want you to believe their lies so they can find out:

  • your age
  • where you live
  • who else uses the computer that you use
  • who else has access to your mobile phone

Once they’ve got your trust and friendship, they will often try to talk to you about sexual experiences and interests. They might ask you to send sexual photographs or videos of yourself.  

Some might try to blackmail you if you won’t do what they tell you. They may threaten to share pictures or videos of you with their friends and family.

Online grooming can take place via chat rooms, instant messaging (IM), social networking sites and email. They might ask you to:  

  • chat about sex online
  • do sexual things on webcam
  • share naked or sexual pictures of yourself
  • look at pictures or videos of others doing sexual things 
  • watch them do sexual things, such as exposing themselves
  • meet up in real life

It can happen to boys and girls, of any age, and whatever your sexuality. It doesn't no matter where you’re from or what your cultural background is.

How to get help

Please tell an adult that you trust. This could be a parent, carer, family member, teacher, or youth worker. Don’t be frightened to tell someone, you won’t be in trouble. Talking about a problem can often make you feel better and you shouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed.

Childline

Phone: 0800 1111 (open 24 hours a day)

If you have been the victim of grooming or sexual abuse, Childline can help. It's free to phone them and the number won't show up on the telephone bill. You can also visit the Childline website.

Other organisations that will help you

What can you do to stay safe online

  1. Don’t give your personal information to people you don’t know in real life (your name, email, phone number, address, or school name).

  2. Never share or send pictures, or do anything on a webcam, that you wouldn’t want your family or friends to see.  

  3. When you share photographs online, check that the name of your road or house, local areas and car number plates can’t be identified by people you don’t know.

  4. Keep your online and phone privacy settings set to high. If you don’t know how to do this ask an adult who you trust.  

  5. Don’t accept friend requests or chat to people who you don’t really know. Remember, ‘friends’ can use fake profiles to make you think they are someone they’re not. 

  6. Don’t meet up with anyone you've only spoken to online. Never meet someone in secret on your own, who you don’t really know. If anyone suggests that you meet them, always tell an adult that you trust.

  7. Be careful about opening emails, messages or files from people you don’t know or trust. They might contain viruses, pornographic images or nasty messages. They might allow people you don’t know to get your personal information.

  8. Find out about safety features on networking sites. Some have a ‘panic button’ which you can press if you see something that shouldn't be there.  

  9. If you see something online that makes you feel uncomfortable or worried, or if someone asks you to do something that makes you feel the same, leave the website or chat immediately and tell an adult you trust.

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